"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are."— Carl Jung
It has been a little over two years since I paused my speaker series salon. Life became busier with volunteer work at my children's school, and I fulfilled a long-held dream of returning to school.
I have been eager to relaunch my salon. While envisioning what this new chapter of InConversationWith could look like, I have given a lot of thought to the theme for the relaunch year. Since my studies focused on the science of well-being, it only felt natural to center this new chapter around exactly that: well-being.
There are countless paths to well-being, with no one-size-fits-all solution. The opportunity to share new ways to foster individual and collective flourishing with my community is incredibly exciting. So, I set out to connect with speakers in this field whose work has deeply inspired me and who I believe have something truly impactful to share. I'm thrilled to introduce this wonderful lineup of speakers, starting with Mandy Seligman and Roger Irwin from the inspiring SeeingHappy project. With both privilege and gratitude, I relaunched my salon with them this past Wednesday, February 6 —I couldn't have imagined a better way to begin.
When introducing Mandy and Roger, I shared that Mandy was like a warm hug and a deep vessel of wisdom she selflessly shares with others, while Roger brought insight and wisdom beyond his years—qualities that shone throughout the evening.
Mandy, a psychologist and fine arts photographer, is the founder of SeeingHappy, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting well-being through photography and positive psychology principles. Roger Irwin, a media and well-being facilitator with a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, played a key role in founding SeeingHappy.
The conversation opened with an immersive exercise to demonstrate how gazing at art, in this case photography, does more than please the eye—it can transform our well-being. Studies involving over 5,000 participants have shown that engaging with art enhances emotional regulation, sharpens cognitive function, strengthens social bonds, and fosters psychological resilience (Mastandrea et al., 2019; Tomlinson et al., 2023). Though researchers are still unraveling the mechanisms behind these benefits, mounting evidence affirms art's profound impact on human flourishing.
To bring these findings to life, Mandy invited us to spend three quiet minutes with four photographs from her Soho Photo Gallery exhibition in New York City. The images, featuring drawings by Jill Galloway Sherman of tiny figures overlaid on the photographs, were inspired by lessons Mandy wanted to teach her children when they were younger about living a happy and fulfilling life. The photographs aim to recreate the long-gone drawings she once made for them—simple, heartfelt images that conveyed important values she hoped would shape their futures.
After the three minutes of observation, she encouraged us to share our thoughts on which images resonated with us and why. As participants took turns speaking, several themes naturally emerged:
For starters, the photographs provided us with a shared language to express complex, layered emotions. Some spoke of feeling empowered by the images, while others described the bittersweet melancholy they evoked. One participant reflected on how one image prompted them to consider the unique role we each play and how our contributions fit into the grand tapestry of the universe. For another, the images represented powerful symbols of overcoming life's challenges.
Next, this vulnerable exchange fostered connection and a sense of community among us, organically creating a safe space where deeply personal thoughts were met with genuine appreciation and understanding.
Last, the depth and intimacy of our reflections revealed connections to our authentic selves – parts of us rarely expressed among strangers. Connecting with our authentic selves helps us align with our true values and strengths, leading to greater self-understanding and acceptance. This clarity can boost our confidence and sharpen decision-making, fostering a deeper sense of fulfillment and happiness (Guenther et al., 2024; Klussman et al., 2022; Seligman, 2011).
In mere minutes and with such a simple exercise, we discovered —and embodied— something remarkable: how shared contemplation of art could deepen our self-awareness and strengthen our well-being, both individually and collectively.
The conversation then shifted to how being in connection with our authentic selves helps us navigate life's constant transitions while maintaining our well-being. It's safe to say that we all recognize how life's ups and downs, along with the weight of our responsibilities, can sometimes disconnect us from our core sense of self. Once again, Mandy invited us to connect with our deep emotions through an immersive art experience—this time through the lyrics of Sara Bareilles' poignant song 'She Used to Be Mine.'The song tells the story of a woman feeling lost and disconnected from her former self, highlighting the emotional impact of personal change and the desire to reclaim lost identity, while acknowledging the complexity of transformation. At its core, it speaks to resilience, self-compassion, and the search for authenticity amid life's challenges. Here is the chorus:
She's imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine
Individual flourishing starts with connecting to our authentic selves, which, as Mandy explained, happens at the intersection of three key elements: understanding what we are good at (our strengths), recognizing how we can serve others with those strengths (mattering), and being aware of what we value, what brings us joy and purpose (noticing). This intersection aligns with the Japanese concept of ikigai—a combination of iki (meaning 'life') and gai (meaning 'worth' or 'benefit')—that which gives life meaning and purpose.
We learned with Mandy and Roger that photography has the power to bring us right into that ikigai intersection. It forces us to slow down and intentionally notice the meaningful elements of our lives—those that capture our attention and connect us to our emotions. SeeingHappy encourages people, as several participants beautifully noted, "to celebrate the mundane by taking pictures of our everydayness." What is more, is that photography, in this case, does not require professional equipment or technical skills. With the device most of us already carry in our pockets—our phones—Mandy's suggestion is simple and accessible, something we can all engage in. Whether it is capturing a fleeting moment or a meaningful detail, the ability to invest in our well-being, and that of others, through photography is right at our fingertips.
Individual flourishing is foundational to collective flourishing (VanderWeele, 2017). Like the airline safety instruction to secure your own oxygen mask first, investing in our well-being enables us to show up as our best selves for others. SeeingHappy extends beyond promoting individual flourishing through photography, taking it one step further by encouraging us to kindly share images of what we value as beautiful, meaningful, and special with thousands of others. This, in turn, creates a ripple effect of connection and community—just like the one we experienced in our small group when Mandy shared her photographs—but on a much larger scale. It is no wonder that Mandy defines kindness as the fairy dust of the world.
Kindness is the fairy dust of the world. - Mandy Seligman
Browsing through the thousands of images on SeeingHappy.org offers a glimpse into our common humanity and all its goodness. I challenge you to look through these images without suddenly noticing a smile on your face and a feeling I can only describe as 'softness and warmth.' In these everyday moments captured by strangers around the world, we find unexpected connection and hope in life's small celebrations.
Thank you, Mandy and Roger, for reminding us of our agency to create human flourishing and gifting us with SeeingHappy—a platform that makes this vision possible. The joy of (re)connecting with ourselves and others, one photograph at a time, can help build a stronger, more compassionate, and kind world—where small moments of beauty, meaning, and hope can make all the difference.
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Connect & Learn More
SeeingHappy: www.seeinghappy.org
Instagram: @seeing.happy
References
Bloom, S. (2023). The 5 types of wealth: A transformative guide to design your dream life. Ballantine Books.
Guenther, C. L., Zhang, Y., & Sedikides, C. (2024). The authentic self is the self-enhancing self: A self-enhancement framework of authenticity. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 50(8), 1182-1196. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672231160653
Klussman, K., Curtin, N., Langer, J., & Nichols, A. L. (2022). The importance of awareness, acceptance, and alignment with the self: A framework for understanding self-connection. Europe's Journal of Psychology, 18(1), 120. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.3707
Mastandrea, S., Fagioli, S., & Biasi, V. (2019). Art and psychological well-being: Linking the brain to the aesthetic emotion. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 739. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00739
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Atria Books.
Tomlinson, Alan; Lane, Jack; Julier, Guy; Grigsby Duffy, Lily; Payne, Annette; Mansfield, Louise; et al. (2023). A systematic review of the subjective wellbeing outcomes of engaging with visual arts for adults (“working-age”, 15-64 years) with diagnosed mental health conditions. Anglia Ruskin Research Online (ARRO). https://hdl.handle.net/10779/aru.23783646.v1
VanderWeele, T. J. (2017). On the promotion of human flourishing. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 114(31), 8148-8156. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1702996114
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